Refocus Desire

Tap the power of positive emotion.

Change your focus to change your reality.


Early in Life ...

I discovered self-evident truths

  • Love and fear are the root of emotions
  • Emotions are the root of behavior
  • Behavior impacts our relationships
  • Default behaviors are difficult to change

Later in life, I learned neuroscience supported this.

Don’t worry, I'm not going to get all heady and stuff because I also discovered that the best tools for creating change for us mere mortals are simple. 

Simple to remember. Simple to apply. Simply profound!

When Life Became Unbearable ...

I searched for the right tools to heal my broken heart and ditch the drama in my relationships. I had become what others wanted me to be professionally and personally. It was time to unearth my authenticity.

Ah, but how to start this journey? I was stuck in pain, driven by responsibilities and absolutely no time for "frivolous" self-discovery.  I certainly didn't think caring for my father with Alzheimer's was going to be that start, but it was.

Caring for dad conceived Relate / Create / Hope / Cope  Approach to Empowerment.

It All Begins with Where You Place Your Focus

When we focus our thoughts on something, everything outside of our focus is blurred. Our brains function this way. It's part of our survival instincts.  

What we focus on also drives our emotions.  Think about it... when watching a movie and a character jumps out from around a tree, we feel and react differently to a thriller versus a comedy. Our brains assign value to what we emotionally feel and our behavior follows. It's another part of our survival instincts. 

Simply put, what we focus on drives emotion and emotion drives behavior

When we focus on a problem we are focusing on what we DON'T want. That kicks off a cycle of emotions and behaviors relating to the problem.

When we focus on a desire we are focusing on what we DO want. Again, emotions and behaviors are intertwined but the results are very different! With a desire focus, we are relating to something bigger than problems. We still solve problems but they are in service to a greater desire.

When we Relate to problems, we immediately feel an inner state of Anxiety

The anxiety effects how we interact with others and Drama often follows. 

Drama is unproductive and we begin feeling Powerless

When things don't change the way we expect, we feel Hopeless

A sense of Dread takes over and our task at hand becomes a Chore to endure. 

We feel Stress ... and the cycle continues.

Our inner-state is FEAR and produces emotion that literally GAGS* us. 

(*Guilt, Anger, Grief, Shame)

Problem Focus - What I don't Want

Inside Emotion

  • Anxiety
  • Powerlessness
  • Dread
  • Stress

Outside Behavior

  • Relate to Problem
  • Drama in Relationships
  • Hopeless that things will change
  • Task at hand becomes a Chore

When we Relate to Desires, we tap into Passion

Passion changes how we interact with others too but allows us to Create moments of joy and think outside-the-box. 

With each small success we feel Power

As the outcome we seek begins to take shape, our Hope is strengthened. 

Now grounded in Purpose, we can readily Cope with whatever challenge comes our way. 

We are at Peace ... and the cycle continues.

Our inner-state is LOVE and produces emotional connectivity ETC*. (*Empathy, Trust, Compassion)

Desire Focus - What I Do Want

Inside Emotion

Outside Behavior

  • Passion
  • Power
  • Purpose
  • Peace
  • Relate to Desires
  • Create moments of joy
  • Hope that desire will come true
  • Flexibility to Cope with challenges

"Beth is my life teacher. She has taught me to dig deep within myself to learn who I really am and that it is okay to face the darkness. Beth has also taught me to look at things from all sides. She loves with all her body and soul; you can feel it in every hug she gives. I am so thankful to have her in my life. Beth IS a warm blanket."

~ Renee Michelle

Listen to the inspiration that became


Watch the full story of how Beth set her FOCUS on what she wanted then applied Relate-Create-Hope-Cope, to realize her greatest desire come true. 

Caring for Alzheimer's?

Are you caring for someone with Alzheimer's?

Give us a call to learn the critical steps that really impact your care and your happiness.

(248) 919- 7617 ext 2

Copyright © 2018 Beth Notarius



SOUTH LYON, MI, 48178     

(248) 919-7617 ext 2

“...peace is the wholeness created by right relationships with oneself, other persons, other cultures, other life, Earth, and the larger whole of which all are a part.” ~Earth Charter

Realize a New You