When Life Became Unbearable ...
Early in Life ...
I discovered self-evident truths
Later in life, I learned neuroscience supported this.
Don’t worry, I'm not going to get all heady and stuff because I also discovered that the best tools for creating change for us mere mortals are simple.
Simple to remember. Simple to apply. Simply profound!
I searched for the right tools to heal my broken heart and ditch the drama in my relationships. I had become what others wanted me to be professionally and personally. It was time to unearth my authenticity.
Ah, but how to start this journey? I was stuck in pain, driven by responsibilities and absolutely no time for "frivolous" self-discovery. I certainly didn't think caring for my father with Alzheimer's was going to be that start, but it was.
Caring for dad conceived Relate / Create / Hope / Cope Approach to Empowerment.
It All Begins with Where You Place Your Focus
When we focus our thoughts on something, everything outside of our focus is blurred. Our brains function this way. It's part of our survival instincts.
What we focus on also drives our emotions. Think about it... when watching a movie and a character jumps out from around a tree, we feel and react differently to a thriller versus a comedy. Our brains assign value to what we emotionally feel and our behavior follows. It's another part of our survival instincts.
Simply put, what we focus on drives emotion and emotion drives behavior.
When we focus on a problem we are focusing on what we DON'T want. That kicks off a cycle of emotions and behaviors relating to the problem.
When we focus on a desire we are focusing on what we DO want. Again, emotions and behaviors are intertwined but the results are very different! With a desire focus, we are relating to something bigger than problems. We still solve problems but they are in service to a greater desire.
When we Relate to problems, we immediately feel an inner state of Anxiety.
The anxiety effects how we interact with others and Drama often follows.
Drama is unproductive and we begin feeling Powerless.
When things don't change the way we expect, we feel Hopeless.
A sense of Dread takes over and our task at hand becomes a Chore to endure.
We feel Stress ... and the cycle continues.
Our inner-state is FEAR and produces emotion that literally GAGS* us.
(*Guilt, Anger, Grief, Shame)
Problem Focus - What I don't Want
When we Relate to Desires, we tap into Passion.
Passion changes how we interact with others too but allows us to Create moments of joy and think outside-the-box.
With each small success we feel Power.
As the outcome we seek begins to take shape, our Hope is strengthened.
Now grounded in Purpose, we can readily Cope with whatever challenge comes our way.
We are at Peace ... and the cycle continues.
Our inner-state is LOVE and produces emotional connectivity ETC*. (*Empathy, Trust, Compassion)
Desire Focus - What I Do Want
"Beth is my life teacher. She has taught me to dig deep within myself to learn who I really am and that it is okay to face the darkness. Beth has also taught me to look at things from all sides. She loves with all her body and soul; you can feel it in every hug she gives. I am so thankful to have her in my life. Beth IS a warm blanket."
~ Renee Michelle
Listen to the inspiration that became
Watch the full story of how Beth set her FOCUS on what she wanted then applied Relate-Create-Hope-Cope, to realize her greatest desire come true.
Caring for Alzheimer's?
Are you caring for someone with Alzheimer's?
Give us a call to learn the critical steps that really impact your care and your happiness.
(248) 919- 7614
BETH NOTARIUS INC.
10818 SILVER LAKE ROAD
SOUTH LYON, MI, 48178
Copyright ©2017 Beth Notarius
Realize a New You
“...peace is the wholeness created by right relationships with oneself, other persons, other cultures, other life, Earth, and the larger whole of which all are a part.” ~Earth Charter
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